Picking up where I left off . . .

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Our family lock on the Great Wall.

Our time in Thailand has brought us much to be proud of and a little to be ashamed of. I am hopeful when I look back on our time here I remember only the proud moments. Two and a half years have flown by. Our children have grown a lot and my youngest has just started preschool which allows me a little time to blog.

My proud moments include our travels around Thailand and our recent trip to China. We probably haven’t made the most of our time here, not as much as others have. I usually use my children as an excuse for our lack of travel, but I need to own up to my own flaws. I guess my biggest flaws are lack of interest and energy. Blame my thyroid, lack of sleep, my husband not helping out, raising three children, the list goes on. I really don’t know what has been wrong with me.

I feel guilty when I think of how I have wasted my time. I have taught English here, participated in bible studies, involved my children in worthwhile and enriching activities and have kept a decent home. I began sinking into an abyss when my husband convinced me a year and a half ago to start going out on the town. Those of you who are familiar with Bangkok know this is not a city for the faint of heart. Before embarking, you need to make sure you and your marriage are stable. I did neither of these. Call it naïveté, stupidity or just the desire to please my husband. Either way, I was led down a path I was not comfortable with.

I have re-calibrated myself. I have a renewed sense of who I am and what I want from my life. My husband has promised me many changes and I resolve to stand firm in my beliefs. It’s a fine line we women walk — wanting to be good wives and mothers. We can go insane trying to keep everyone happy and lose ourselves in the process. On the bright side, I am back and I have a positive outlook. My next blog post will be an attempt to recap our time here.

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